William Hope

My Kind of Cruise

I’ll take a soft serve please… extra sprinkles and frustration!

Cruising has plenty of options that you can choose from; different cruise lines, different ships, different classes, different themes, but one thing they all have in common - they have stories that are waiting to happen. Memories that are waiting to blossom. Experiences that are waiting for you. National Storytelling Week is a great time to re-live some of these memories and experiences and share our cruise stories.

The first cruise I went on was Royal Caribbean’s Wonder of the Seas; the biggest, longest and (debatably) most exciting ship on the planet. Although I was advised to start small, the temptation of being able to brag about such an exciting vacation made me snatch the opportunity up as quick as it was offered. I have an incredible amount of unforgettable memories on the Wonder of the Seas, however one story specifically jumps out to me as it brightens my day whenever it crosses my mind.

It all started with me. Hungry and hot. I was in Italy during the summer, baring in mind, so the thought of something cold was extremely tempting. Eureka! I spotted the ice cream machine. If you’re unaware, many cruise ships have free ice creams throughout the day and this ship was one of them. Unfortunately, great minds think alike and it seemed like half of the guests on board at the time also wanted an ice cream so a queue was inevitable.

Looking through the long line of over heated people, I debated in my mind if I should wait. I knew I could do without an ice cream and - in all honesty - I am lactose intolerant, but the thought of frozen chocolate yoghurt was all too tempting. I began my wait. Standing in the queue, I could see people telling their friends and partners to go and get them a cocktail whilst they were in the queue. I was, unfortunately, alone and didn’t prepare for the wait. I JOURNEYED? through however, as parched and hungry as I now was.

Towards the end of the line, I found myself becoming irritable and sweating. I had forgotten to put sun cream on so I was jumping in and out of the shade to stop myself from burning in the Italian summer sun. The end was approaching. Finally, I arrive, greeted by a smile from the Royal Caribbean employee. I ask for a chocolate and vanilla swirl and he takes out the cone; he pulls down the handle and… and… pure sludge pours onto my cone and all over the employees hand. He laughs, I gasp - pure horror riddles my face. A bit dramatic, maybe, but I was hot, irritable, tired, hungry, thirsty and whatever other adjective I can list here to make you feel sorry for me. Suddenly, he pours again and out comes a fantastic looking ice cream. Turns out he just changed something on the machine and it always comes out runny on the first go. Great joke.

Happy and merry, I walk away with an ice cream cone in hand. A few licks is all it takes and boom - a bird flies down and attacks my hand for the frozen dessert I had worked extremely hard for. My ice cream is gone, my eyes are tearing up and I am a broken man. Only one thing for it: I proceed to order some from room service.